What is best for me!

[Candi]

I have a date for my surgery after more than a year of tests and specialists.  I have had confidence the entire year for the bypass, however now that the surgery is only 8 days away I am having doubts.  My family has caused most of these doubts.  Now these thoughts are entering my dreams and it is all I think of most of the day.  If any of you were like this please share with me what you did to get your confidence back?

[such912]

Hey Candi...


Finally, after countless meetings and doctors visits, you are finally inches away from the "NEW YOU"....  You have worked hard to get here, and the benefits from the procedure await you.  I don't know what kind of doubts you are having, but it is normal to be a little scared of a life-changing event.  I remember close to my surgery, i was getting more and more hesitant, yet the day after surgery i was cursing myself for what had i done to myself...

Now, being almost 6 months out, it is the greatest decision i have ever made.  Going into surgery, i just wanted to be a thinner person, so i could see life from the other side.... Now, i want a whole lot more...! It has been life altering for me and these 6 months have been the some of the best times of my life...!

With me writing here, i cannot say anything to make your doubts fade away, but in my opinion, you wanting the surgery is for your own good, your better health and your better future, so keep your head up as your long and tireless efforts are about to be rewarded...!

Also, talk to Sophia and others about your doubts, since at most times, talking is one of the best ways to overcome one's fears...

Wish you the best....

Asim

[icarus96]

Hello Candi

It's normal to have doubts about an important decision that you're making.   
If you didn't you wouldn't be a normal human being.
Heck I have doubts about what I'm having for dinner most nights.
We have all had the doubts and misgivings about our choices, and relative to the surgery, for me anyway, I was second guessing my choice for a few weeks after as well. 
I think many of us were.   :
There are several posts in here regarding the "what did I get myself into?" topic.
I'm only 3 months out and those doubts melt away along with the fat.
The decision solidifies like your body.
I personally know 7 people outside our group that have had the surgery over the last 10 years and even the person who has gained back a bunch of weight has overwhelmingly stated it was the best decision he ever made.
Like I said it's like any normal human being making a large decision... you have second thoughts. 
People get cold feet and have doubts about everything.
Should I get married?
Should I buy this house?
Should I have kids?  Will they be healthy?  Will I make a good parent?
Can I afford to buy a new car?
Did I get a good price on this new TV?
How many times have you bought something and had "buyers remorse?"
This is a pretty big decision, more than likely one of the largest decisions that you or any of us will have to make in our lives, and it will pray on your mind.
The little voices in your head (and sometimes outside your head) will start to go to work on you.

Right up until the time I walked into the operating room and got on the table I was checking out the exits.
I like to think that I'm normal, and from those people who have shared in the group it seems kind of average to have these feelings.

The "are you sure" question.... from inside and outside lingers.

I can only tell you that for me that question has been answered.   

Here's a question for you.... it's an inspirational quote.....

"What would you do if you knew you could not fail?"   

Stay strong! 
Stay determined!
You have done so much research and have done all of your due diligence on this!
You are putting your foot down on a new path.... a path that you have looked at for some time.
A path that your are looking forward to traveling.
Be confident in your decision and do not let detractors (internal or external) sway you from your path.
Have faith in yourself, and your decision making abilities!
You are living in your shoes!  No one else is.
Only you can know for sure if it is right or not.

The next week will go by so fast that the next thing you know it will be time to go.
Then you can start to wounder "what did I do?"
But pretty soon after that you get into the "I'm so glad I did that!"
Then I hope you find peace with your decision.

Best of luck to you, and I hope to see you on this side next time we meet.

Tony

[Osk]

Candi,

Doubt can be a very terrible thing.   In any life there is always a battle between doubt and faith.  Faith is believing something without having any proof of it.  Faith is trusting in something that may or may not come to pass.   Faith is hard.  Faith is a choice.  Faith sometimes is misplaced and fails and punishes us in very serious ways.  However Faith is what keeps us going, faith is what gets us out of bed in the morning and gives us the peace of mind to go to sleep at night. 

You had faith when you chose your surgery.  Don't let fear and doubt steal that way from you.

If you do then you leave yourself vulnerable to the something even worse.   Regret.

Don't listen to your family.  Don't listen to anyone you know.  Don't listen to anyone on the boards, even me.   Take a moment to be calm, to silence the voices raging in your head and listen to yourself.   Do what you do because that is what you want to do.  Ultimately what choices you make regarding your body are your business.  You will have to live with yourself so you'd better be sure you do exactly what you want.  Just take a moment to figure out what that is and then forge ahead. 

Osk

[Veee1226]

Hi Candi.

Time for my 2 cents!

I was not one of those people who was, "Rah, Rah, Rah!  I am going to have surgery!  Whopppppeee!"  I was definitely frightened and questioning my decision up until the surgery and even afterwards.  I have seen people come through the surgery so happy and so confident, it amazed me.  I was not filled with confidence afterwards.  I had a bad experience in the recovery room and when I got home I had nausea, weakness, depression, etc.  You name it, I had it.  But I am now 4 months out, down almost 90 pounds and feeling really good.  Candi, it is STILL surreal to me.  Sometime I cannot believe I actually took this step.  But I am glad that I did.  I really, really am glad that I did.

I agree with Oscar.  This is a very private decision.  Your family is reacting to their fear of the unknown, and not to what is the best thing for you and your happiness.  They don't understand that this decision you have made will make you a better wife, better mom, better daughter, better sister, and a better person all together because you are going to find a HAPPINESS within yourself that you never knew you could have.  Every person deserves to feel that.

I hope you find some peace and solace in my words and I truly hope you can find the strength to stay your course and trust your original instincts.

We are all here for you, waiting on the other side.

Your friend,

Veronica

[bicamsan]

I was not scared or nervous until I was waiting to walk into the surgery room When i woke up I could not believe that I went through with it. I stayed in this mindset until i was two weeks out. then things started working better and i was totally glad i did it.