It’s Father’s Day and I want my cake.

In the classic horror movie Creepshow there is an episode called “Father’s Day”. In it a mean old man rises from the grave and kills his family, crying out “Its Father’s Day, and I want my cake.” In my family it has been a tradition to watch this movie every Father’s Day. Afterwards we’d have cake, usually carrot cake with cream cheese frosting, my personal favorite. I haven’t had carrot cake in a very long time. I don’t think I’ll be having it on Sunday. What the F*%#?

Lately things have been very hard for me. Financial reversals, injured children, parental visits, parties, weddings, graduations, rain, covering for someone at work by going in the next two Saturdays, it’s just been a cavalcade of wonderfulness. My weight swung up and I spent all week trying to get it back down (which it is, thank goodness). I’ve been vomiting, a lot. Maybe three times this week; I’ve really tried to modify my eating and diet too.

Sunday is Father’s Day, and somehow I’ll be going to a wedding. One of Mitzi’s friends too, not even one of mine. But on that special day I’ll be at a wedding. It’s very disappointing. My wife tells me, “it’s in the afternoon; we can do something special in the morning.” Like what I wonder, brunch? No chance. Food related celebrations aren’t part of my life anymore. While considering what I’d like to do with my ½ Father’s Day I remembered my tradition of Creepshow and Carrot Cake. It came to me with the same feeling of someone lying on the floor, dazed and semi-conscious, suddenly being kicked very hard in the face. I won’t be having cake on Father’s Day. The last mouthful of cake I had sent me to the bathroom to be sick.

This path gives you so much, but it takes from you as it does so. In all things there is a price. I knew this. I am willing to pay it. But there are always things you don’t think about, gaps in your logic or blind spots in your plans. I’m happy with the way things are going. Are there things I miss? You betcha. My wife knows I am not happy about the wedding on Sunday; she gave me the option of not going. But I won’t be “that guy” that prick husband sending his wife and kids off to a wedding while he stays home and plays video games. I’ll bite the bullet on that one. My Father’s Day Carrot cake…oh yeah, this sucks. It totally sucks. It’s f*&#ing heartbreaking to be honest. What does it matter; a piece of stupid cake? I don’t know why it matters, but it does.

I’m very upset now. I’ll be working tomorrow too, the sixth day of an already crappy week. I just want to get through today and tomorrow without throwing up again.

“Bedelia, its Father’s Day and I want my cake.”

Well, Happy Father’s Day, whoop-de-F*&@ing Do!